“Not DOGs” Grand Central, Birmingham

After hearing some amazing reviews from a close friend. I have literally been on Stephen’s case about visiting this place, for a “Not Dog” for at least a month solid!
I do this really annoying thing before visiting a restaurant… where I analyse the menu in depth and shortlist any dishes, that could possibly make it to my stomach. But big mistake it was in this instance…..we got there to discover they had “sold out” on crispy potato lattice fries!!! I was really looking forward to them with my burger, who wants to eat a burger and no fries…right?! They offered some no meat nuggets to have as a side….huh!?

This instantly dampened my very excited mood, I know what I want and when I want it….the lattice fries were the only item that had officially made it to the shortlist!!! When I get fixed on something (food) I have to taste it….so this really wasn’t going to plan for my slightly autistic mentality!

It was Sunday evening (probably why they were sold out of fries) when we decided go stuff our faces!
Upon arrival, “Not Dogs” is quite visually appealing, modern little tin tables and chairs…quite retro and colourful! Overall, cool and quirky!
So we had ANOTHER detailed look over the menu before deciding what to have. I went for the “Chris-P Chicken Burger”(cost 4.90) which I’m guessing was produced by “Chris”?! Again autistic mind taking over! Stephen opted for the “Queen B Burger” this was a vegan beef burger.
We waited about 10 minutes for our burger! Whilst waiting, Stephen went to “Five Guys” and ordered some “Cajun fries” (What a plan we had in place) nothing was going to stop us getting our eat on!!
Let’s fast forward 10 minutes…I am now sitting in a not so ideal spot (it was cold and dark) about to dive into this burger! Visually the burger looked great, it looked like a McDonald’s “McChicken Sandwich” which if there is no meat in looks very appealing! The only difference was the “Chris-P Chicken Burger” had a slice of fake bacon, added bonus!
My first bite was the most disappointing bit of the whole meal, it tasted dry! I guess just like the McDonald’s version, I would have to open the burger and use the bun lid to spread the small splodge of vegan mayo along with the lettuce over the entire burger…why don’t they factor this in when creating it?! Surely your customers are going to be happier if every bite tastes just as good!!
After spreading the mayo and taking another huge bite I discovered… it literally tasted just like the “McChicken Sandwich” wow….how could this be possible?! When it contained no meat at all!? Even the texture resembled that of the McDonald’s version minus the vile pieces of chicken gristle that exist in the chicken one!
I can say though I did feel the slice of fake bacon was completely pointless, it did not add any taste only a slight crispy, hard texture to the burger.
After demolishing it…to conclude I can say I really really did enjoy this “Chris-P Chicken Burger” although I really hope and pray that next time I visit they do have the lattice fries!

I do feel like I missed something on this visit that my friend has been getting from her visits, the way she described the food was so delicious…it just didn’t live up to its expectations. I think the moral of the story is….if you visit a restaurant called “Not Dogs” you clearly need to select a “NOT Dog” from the menu….as opposed to letting your greedy inner burger addiction make the choice! I will most definetely be returning to “Not Dogs” and next on the hitlist is a “What the Duck Dog”. I am feeling fulfilled that this place will be great on my meat-free journey!


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